Small Changes, Big Impacts

Today I got released from both of my callings. I was a Relief Society teacher and the Ward Music Chair. The music chair was fun, but was stressful at times. I loved loved loved being a Relief Society teacher and cried when they asked to release me. I learned so much about the gospel and myself. I learned how to be a better teacher from the spirit and from a few sisters from the ward who took me under their wing. I am grateful for both callings and all I learned from them. Music has and will always have a powerful influence on my life and loved the opportunity to bear my testimony through song. I never taught a class before I became a teacher in Relief Society and the growth I experienced was amazing. The sisters taught me so much, I love them so much and the unity we have, and I learned how to be a better daughter of God through the teaching process. I witnessed more than once the spirit take over the lesson and testify that what I was teaching was true. It was amazing and will never forget it.

Well you know what they say, once you are comfortable somewhere things sometimes get shaken up a bit to keep it fresh or in my case "keep it real" :)

Since I was released from both callings and haven't been put in a new one yet people from our ward have been asking if we are moving. Nope, not yet. Still on our lease and we will see whats happening after it is up. I would like a new apartment because I am tired of this scene and the noise and smoke our neighbors make. Until out contract is up we are just making do.

That's all from me. I will post a blog about our Iowa trip soon.

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Reflection-Warning may contain TMI

I love conference weekend. I get a lot done around the house and I get spiritual fed.

Plus Priesthood session=Me Time!

Priesthood session becomes a girls or "Stephanie" night out. I really like to hang out with my girls, but this weekend I needed some "me" time.

Every so often I reflect on myself personally, spiritually, and professionally to see if I am where I want to be or should be etc.. The last few weeks I have been doing a lot of that. Work has been stressful and I think that it set me off on a quest within myself to ensure I am where I want to be and if I am not what I am going to do about it. Along the quest I always doubt myself and put myself down inside for not being where I think I should be, but I usually get over it and move on. This time I haven't been able to shake it and have been seeking a change.

Excuse me while I just vomit a few of my thoughts.

Professional Life- I like my job and have goals within my company that I hope to achieve soon. But everything will happen in its right time and I have to keep reminding myself that. I can't run faster than I can walk. I have been in this new position for almost a year and I already want to move on to the next thing. Lately I have been easily frustrated and haven't been myself or at least what I think I used to be. But I suppose there is more I need to learn here before I can move on. Lars says that everything I am going through will make me a better mom and person more than I know right now. So in the mean time I will do my best where I am at and try to stay strong.

Personally-I love my family and how tight we are. My family always had monthly gatherings when we lived in Utah. I thought they became superficial, but now that I am out of state I miss them lots. Especially around the holidays. But I am so glad I have Lars. He is my best friend and I am so happy with him and us and the accomplishments we have made and have yet to make. This brings me to my next personal struggle.

~I want to be a Mom!~

I have been very baby or shall I say family hungry for about a year now. I love the church, & I love my family. I love that the churches focus is on family and I cannot wait to grow my family and have more love to share and to raise it like I was raised accompanied with all the joy and fun. I am 27 and to me that is old. I know I have more to learn before this day comes and I know it will come in its right time. At first I used to hurt inside because I don't have kids yet. I see other young families and am so happy for them and long for it. I cry less now but every now and then I think to myself, "I am I less of a women because it hasn't happened yet?" The answer is of course, NO! But I don't want to miss out or wait too long.

I love how my life is but can't wait for the day for our family to grow.

Spiritually-I can always do better in this area. Our ward had a goal in March to read the entire Book of Mormon in 30 days. I only made it a week. I beat myself up inside for a bit for such a little thing, but got over it because I can only do my best and let the Lord do the rest. I am human and need to pray always and get strengthened from the Lord. He is always blessing me in more ways than I know.

Lars has been such a support in being a soundboard and shoulder during this time. Recently we were talking about how I was feeling about things and came to two conclusion that have helped a lot;

~With growth comes pain

~We have set goals and are on our way in reaching them and have done so much since we started our lives together and so much more to do.

A lot of the conference talks have helped already too. I am so grateful for the gospel in my life. It has given me so much meaning and purpose. I know who I am and am on my way to continue loving life the best way I know how.

So what did I do to relieve myself during this "me" time. I baked cookies, cupcakes that I will decorate tomorrow, prepared to make a pie, goofed of on the Internet, and played Gauntlet.

I love me time!