feet are made for walking

Just couple of fun videos of roan playing and walking and trying to catch the phone and cooing and well just being super cute. See for yourself.

11 Month

 weight: 24 or 25 lbs less than last month. Honestly we have been weighing him on a home scale so we are not accurate. I am sure he is close to 30 lbs.

length: 30 inches or so.
We will get an accurate weight and measurement next month at his 12 month appointment.

New Pajamas

 Look how tall I am and  how far I can reach

 See how I like to sleep

Seriously looks like a big kid when he sleeps. His feet are huge now. 

Roan's reach went from 1 inch to a mile overnight. I thought we had everything baby proofed but he showed us all the new things he could do after his recent growth spurt. Nothing is safe anymore. He can reach up and grab things off of tables. If you were to walk into our house right now you would see that everything on the table is pushed towards the middle and we have also made barriers to some items like tall glass lamps. This kid can reach for anything.

Still not sleeping all the way thru the night and these days it takes him an hour to go to sleep. He has weened himself off the binkie completely. I really want to work on this and get it more manageable but I am not sure what step to take next. I am not a fan of crying it out. I am hopeful this will improve when we ween him completely but if not then we will deal with it then. Frankly I am just too tired to put any serious effort into it right now, I know that sounds bad and I might be starting a bad habit for him. I am afraid to try any massive changes with sleep training because the change may kill me and take forever and at this time I am barely getting by with what sleep I do get between working and him. Some nights I can get him to sleep easy, but then he wakes up and when I go to him he is sitting up and doesn't know how to go back to sleep. Not trying to complain, just asking for help. Suggestions?

He is saying more stuff like waawaa,  baa baa, mamama, and dada which is still the favroite gabber. 

He sequels and laughs at everything, It is so awesome and he can make anyone's day. 

He is walking. Again, overnight he went from cursing along the couch to walking from the couch to the chair across the room. He is getting stronger and more courageous  He mostly walks when no one is looking unless we try to make a game out of it. Lars and I created a  secret word to say to each other when we see him walking, the word is "mint". This way he will keep walking because when we see him we would get excited and say hey your walking and then he would stop. Silly kid. Pretty soon he will be running and I have no idea what we will do then. 

As with any new milestone comes tough stuff, like falling down. He is a little wobbly here and there in his walk and he has bumped his head here and there. My heart jumps more than it ever has but we let him grow and learn no matter how much I want to just only let him play in a padded room. 

He still opens cupboards but now takes things out of them. We childproof certain cupboard and just supervise his play around the others. He has already broken a lid. He pulled it out and it broke when it fell to the ground and he just stared with his hands opened wide at it as if he was telling it to rise and get back up. 

He helps put things away. As we clean up his toys he helps put them in the box and then tries to take them out again. Roan is also a nose picker. It is hilarious. He sticks his finger up his nose the most while he is eating. He also likes to stick his finger in peoples mouths and belly buttons. He also loves to play pass the ball. But when he plays he tosses you the ball then chases it. 

He likes to give you stuff, like he is playing fetch. My Dad has this back scratch-er with wheels and he loves to crawl around with it in his hand like it is a car or something. 

Roan has started to drop food on the ground just to watch it fall. Cute at first but then annoying as I want him to eat and feed himself. So far there hasn't been any throwing or spitting yet. He does push food away from him when he is done. He has fallen asleep when eating too. He is a little picky on some foods. He doesn't like fruit so much. 

When he sits down he crosses his ankles like this. 

He dances too. Especially when no one is watching. But if you dance with him he will usually join you. 

His current favorite items to play with are an empty drinking picture, slinky, and colander.

My favorite thing that he has started doing has been laughing after every sneeze. It is so cute. He used to sigh after every sneeze when he was younger. These days we play a game where I pretend to sneeze on him and it gets him giggling. Now whenever he or someone else sneezes or when I say God bless you it is followed up with his snickery giggle.

Roan met Santa at our ward Christmas party. He smiled as he walked in but then as he sat on his lap and we took pics his smile melted into a worry and then a cry. I think he was more freaked out that everyone was watching him. He was the first to sit on his lap and our pics probably took too long for him. 

I love this kid more and more each day and his awesomeness is taken to a whole new level and beyond as time goes on. I am super excited for his first Christmas. :) I have also started planning his 1st birthday party. I hope it will execute in real life in the cool way it has executed in my head. 

2013 Goals Yo

Its that time of year where we reflect on the past and look forward to the future.

Here were my goals for 2012 and how I did.

Be an awesome Mom (Last year I said I either wanted to have a baby by the time I was 30 or get a dog, the baby beat out the dog :) We will still get a dog but not for a few years)

Even though I don't feel like it sometimes I am a kick-a Mom.

Continue to be an awesome Wife

Even though I don't feel like it sometimes I am a kick-a wife and Lars has been a kick-a husband. This was a joyful but tough year for us. Mostly due to first time parenting and all the changes within us with that, but we rocked it.

Get back in post preggo shape after baby is born (eat healthy and exercise weekly)

HAHAHAHAHA it was a work in progress and a dream. Still a ways to go on this one.

Continue to have my own interests and identity after the baby is born (I am going to love being a Mom and will give it my all, but I still want to be me and get away from time to time and not let my child define me entirely to the point that I don't do anything for me or am sad. I think to remain sane and balanced I will need to continue to pursue stuff for me. Balance has been my biggest worry about becoming a Mom. In the past I have been the go to person for everything but I am learning to take it easy and put myself first in certain things so I can be sane and happy enough to take care of my little family better. After the baby is born I want to be able to balance the responsibilities I have in a way that keeps me happy enough to continue pursue those responsibilities /interests, ie work, homemaker, church callings, etc.)

This still takes so much work. For the most part I did good. On the weeks that I went without my own time I felt it. Thankfully Lars and I try to stick with a system and we give eachouther a night off each week from the baby and sometimes each other.

Continue to have date night with Lars, even if we are improvising now that we are parents.

We take courting eachother and going on weekly dates pretty seriously. We go out twice a month if not every weekend when possible. Or we make it a family outing and Roan ends up sleeping thru most of it.

Take an art or sewing class

Finish writing the musical I started. I have the story idea down but I just need to get some songs together.

Participate in a local Theatre production

With that last goal being said I would like to read 6 biographies this year.

HA Didn't even touch any of these. Unless you count crafting for baby showers as an art class (YES), singing songs about pajamas and poopey diapers as writing a musical (YES), dancing and performing in front of your child to keep him happy when he is tired and hungry or to get a good monthly picture as a theatre production(YES), and making up 6 characters in a bedtime story as biographies (YES).

In that case...mission accomplished.

Finish the Book of Mormon again

Almost

Create a Mormon.org profile

Created but no upkeep as of yet.

Go to the temple 6 times

Once but who is counting

Be more active in politics. I love discussing politics as of late and have become more passionate about standing up for what I believe through politics.

heh okay i guess

Go shooting at a gun range twice and maybe even buy a gun

Nope-But once Lars opens his Christmas gift we will.

Go camping 3 times with my family/friends

We went on a long camping trip once and it rocked so it counts as 3.

Sing and dance to my baby boy everyday and help him laugh and love life as much as I do

Always and Forever!!!

 

Goals for 2013

Unplug~I want to enjoy every minute with my little family. Sometimes I am a facebook addict. SO when I come home in the evenings and weekends I am going to unplug. I have been giving this a test run. No FB on Sundays. I do alright.

Go to the temple monthly-We live in Utah for crying out loud where there is a temple every 30 miles or less.

Get involved in yoga, zumba, and running. In fact I would love to run a 3 or 5 K for the heck of it. I need to strengthen my core and increase my flexibility range=yoga. I love to dance and have fun=Zumba.

Hug and kiss my boys everyday

Turn 30 in a sylish way

Call my Anaheim friends often and visit with my family locally often.

Deepen my testimony

Wish my luck.

Christmas Angel - A Dedication to Carmen

I met Carmen in 2008 when I managed the office services operations for a law firm through the company I worked for at the time. Carmen was a nice gal in her 30's with a young daughter under the age of 5. Carmen knew her stuff at the site as she had worked there years ago but was new to my company. She was a great receptionist, always always happy and smiling, even when things were stressful. She looked out for the team in many ways and kept our operations afloat. I could always count on her as a worker and a friend. A year into our relationship Carmen was diagnosed with breast cancer. However, she did not let this get her down. She continued to come to work through the agressive treatment and kept her spirits up throughout the entire process. Eventually she was put on leave from work. We missed her at the office. She had big shoes to fill and was irreplacable. She did keep in touch while away and eventually she returned during her remission. However, months later the cancer had returned but to new areas spread throughout her body. She again, continued to move forward with treatment and continued to work as long as she was able to. This time around it was even more of physical and emotional roller coaster ride. However, Carmen rose above it and was positive and uplifting. She helped everyone else out of their slumps. She was like that, always thinking of others even though her situation was much worse. She left work again on leave. At this time I covered the reception desk until her return, which she was never able to do. She was an inspiration to all. I couldn't tell you how many vendors I spoke to in person and over the phone knew Carmen and loved her. ALL of them told me how much joy she brought them and how strong and inspiring she is.

Everytime I spoke to her, even during the darkest hours, she was positive about her life and situation. She kept saying that cancer did not own her and she would live life to the fullest. It didn't stop her. She was an amazing mother, daughter, sister, and friend and kept things on the up and up for her daughter at every hour of the day. I cannot say this about most people but she was THE most positive person I have ever known. At times people say that to me, but they really need to meet her to know where the mark is. No matter how grim her situation she kept positive and kept it together. An inspiration to all...so so much more than that.

Before I moved to Utah in October I got to see her again. She was frail and unable to walk. But her smile was larger than life. I was a new Mom and she shared wonderful advice and stories about being a Mom. She was so proud of her own daughter and how smart, beautiful, and strong she is. The saying about how the apple does not fall far from the tree is very true, especially in this case. I am sure her daughter will grow up to be an amazing woman because she had Carmen for a Mother.

On Christmas morning her brother, Manny, called me to let me know that Carmen had passed. He told me that she asked him to call me to thank me for all the love and support that myself and the company I worked for provided for her. Even in her final hours she thought not of herself but of others. She asked everyone to not cry for her but to celebrate her life. I feel like she did more for me than I have ever done for her. She inspired me to love, give thanks, laugh, find joy in every part of the journey, and to be the best Mom ever. Despite our circumstances we can still have joy. Cancer did not own Carmen, even though she passed from cancer she still ruled the day as she taught all to rise above things. She lived what she taught with her constant love and joy. She really was the wind beneath our wings.

I will never forget her and how she has touched me. I know the world will never be the same. I know I will never be same. I know I am not alone in saying I am a better person for having known Carmen. A mutual friend of ours said that Carmen is very special as God only takes the best of us on Christmas and that she would have wanted to leave us on a day we would be celebrating instead of mourning. I will miss her very much. I know that families are forever. I know that her work of loving and inspiring will continue in the heavens and that she will always be watching over her loved ones. Carmen will be our Christmas angel.

STARS Christmas Wish 2012

Greetings from the Lars & Stephanie Barlow Family. We have much to be thankful for, one being our highlight of this year, the birth of our son, Roan Larsen Barlow, born January 19th. Since then our days have been filled with many new joyous "firsts". We love every minute of being his parents. He is a spunky little guy with lots of love and personality. In other news this year we relocated from Anaheim, CA to Utah in October. We love being closer to our families and are excited about the new changes this move has brought. 

Please enjoy our slideshow to highlight other fun happenings and firsts from this year within our little family.

We hope this message finds you well. Have a very Merry Christmas and a Jolly New Year!

Thank you, 

Lars, Stephanie, & Roran Barlow

The STARS

Can't get enough of the STARS....then follow our blogs at:

http://barlowstars.blogspot.com/

http://notmuchphoto.blogspot.com/

http://barlowlars.blogspot.com/

Free slideshow design made with Smilebox

First Aebleskiver

 Yummy Aebleskiver

What is this stuff?

You want me to what...?

 Eat it?!?

Let's have a look here

NOAM NOAM NOM

 Hey! These are pretty good. I love being Danish!

Showing Our Thanks

The last week I have been a ball of emotions. Not bad wah wah emotions but with feelings love and gratitude mixed with some heart ache for those suffering from the events that have taken place in CT. More than I have felt in long time and it has taken me a while to really wrap my head around it. With all the events that have happened in our nation the last few days I think I am finally getting my emotions to a point where I can share them.

I love this time of year but this year just seems more special inside. Not sure if it is because Roan is with us and I am seeing things so different. I just feel so blessed. Sure we are not exactly where we want to be right now. And I cried last Sunday for an hour because I miss my group of girls from Anaheim. I feel like I am just another person in the ward we are in. Yeah I go to church to have my own relationship with God but it is nice to have the social side and to know that people care that you are there. I don't really feel that here yet and I may not until we move onto where we need to live, wherever that is and whenever we do that. I know where we live is only temporarily and we are grateful for the kindness of our family to allow us to impose on them until we figure that out. Despite all that I feel very humble and grateful for all the little things that I have.

I am grateful to be close to our families for the holiday.
I am grateful for Lars who is working so hard to reach our goals. He makes me smile and laugh and always gets me.
I am grateful for Roan. He is truly a joy and every time I think about how awesome he is I cry a little. Seeing the world thru his eyes has truly changed me for the better. Believe me I can be very selfish but becoming a parent has taught me to share everything I have and more. I am so much happier because of this and I feel like I have more than I have ever had.
I am grateful that we have sufficient for our needs. We have food, a pillow to sleep on, and clothes to wear.
We are in such good health.
My Dad and I were talking about all the material things we have compared to other countries. We really do have a lot. So much more than we need.

I read the main article in the Ensign this month by President Thomas S. Monson and he asked in it, "I wonder if we might profit by asking ourselves, What gifts would the Lord have me give to Him or to other at this precious season of the year?" He continues and suggestions obedience and other things. I want to suggest deepening our testimony by loving everyone and showing kindness to all. I mean really seeking out these opportunities and putting yourself out there.

All I want to do it give and be an instrument of the Lord in any way that I can. SO I have been praying for that and it has been happening. I am able to bear certain things more as I try to show love and patience to certain situations around me. Normally I would react different but I don't and often times I can't explain why. It may not be an awe inspiring experience all the time, but it feels good and right and I love it because at the end of the day I have everything I have because of Him. He loves us and blesses us even when we aren't looking.

There is good in the world and every time I hear or read about it I want to praise Him and cry tears of job. Let's be apart of that good today and give thanks and show our thanks along the way.

10 Months

I feel like I just posted a 9 month post so we will keep this to the point.

Weght: 27 lbs+

Height: 29 inches

Roan is turning into a little man. He loves to open and close things and to pretend to read (he opens and closes books, stares into the books, examines all angles on a book). He will play for a book for 20 minutes. He has his own games he plays with cupboards. He will start by peeking in and closing it read fast then opening it wide and then closing it and then he chants some squeal baby babble towards the sky with his hands held high. Then he opens it and begins to riffle through the items. It almost seems like a ritual before playing. He wishes he could get into the dishwasher and the fridge, we are usually really fast workers when we are in the kitchen. He explores while we are in there and we dance around him as we cook.

He is a huge people watcher. He likes to be involved in anything you are doing. When we he is in the shopping cart he ends up turning around to the front so he can see where we are going.

There are times were I think he may be compulsive as when something is open he has to go close it, even if someone is using it. Maybe it is just a phase?

His crawling is a lot stronger and faster. He enjoys cruising around the kitchen cupboards and couches. There are times when he will be brave and stand on his own for more than 20-30 seconds. When he needs to get down he just squats instead of falling onto his bum and he kneels a lot more and does these crazy yoga moves.

He has spent the last few months being introduced to lots of Utah family and friends. He plays the shy card more than he should when he first meets people. He will do so by cuddling up to my chest and hiding his face. But after getting some food in him, if he is hungry, and letting him warm up to you then he utilizes your presence as a jungle gym.

All of his Stark Cousins

Roan will also whine if you take something away from him when he is not done. Time to learn to share? I can tell that he understands certain things. I love watching the wheels in his little mind roll as he tries to figure stuff out. He is very responsive on a few thinks. Like when I ask him kindly to close things or pick something up. He likes to do things on his own sometime. When I try and help him with something he waves his arm at me until I let him free to do it on his own. Mr. Independent much?

He has been introduced to snow. Not sure what he thought of it yet.

He is eating really well and we are trying to do more finger foods from what we eat rather than baby jar good. He still wakes up at least once per night too. I imagine that will change we he starts drinking milk.

Sleeping with his bum in the air has been the preferred sleeping position

He loves his Mom and Dad and playing with his grandparents. He misses his friend Dane, we video chat with his family every few weeks and I think Roan is starting to notice the video camera and no just the keyboard. Hoping we can get the boys together again soon.

Tailbone Update~I think it is betterish, is that a word, it is now. For the last 10 months I have been sitting on a donut. I killed the donut, seriously, it won't inflate anymore. So I have been without it for a bit and I think I am fine. I still have trouble with church chairs or hard chairs, but I can work with that by using good posture and shifting my weight. I was also taking Advil for it daily for months. I weened myself off of that as I don't like to be dependent on drugs. Things have been going much better in that regard. After it broke and it didn't get better after a few months I went to the doctor and they kept telling me to give it time. I thought it was a big fat lie. Time does heal everything as I can totally feel a difference now. Part of me is still a little scared that it will break again and I have no idea what I am gonna do then, but for now it is nearly better. HOORAY!!

  

 Did I mention that my family was all together for the first time in years for Thanksgiving. 

Here we all are

Whose Who?

I am sure it is easy to tell who is who because of the outfit but we are one in the same. 

  I didn't notice this until now but we both like to utilize our hands in the same manner. 

Pants on the Ground

I have a love and hate relationship with my pants right now. I can't seem to find a pair that fit right. My prepreggo pants are still snug so I have some post preggo pants that I sometimes wear and they are always falling down. I feel like I look like a fool with my pants on the ground or at least always pulling them up.  SO last week I bit the bullet and went out to buy pants that actually fit my "in between" body stages. I swear to you when I tried on two pairs of pants in the store they fit perfectly. It was awesome. I didn't feel like they were too tight and I didn't have to constantly pull them up.

Well do you believe that after wearing them for a week I am again pulling up my pants again. The pants fairy must have switched them out on me once I got them home. UGHHHHH I just can't win. Don't get me wrong. I hope that means I am getting myself trimmed up again, but the process is so frustrating because I want to wear clothes that are comfortable and not look like a fool. LOL Oh well. Life is hard right ;)

I have a belt and will be riding this out. :)

LOoooong Weekend

We had a pleasant thanksgiving weekend. The break had an awesome start. Lars and I went to dinner with the boy and then went driving around for some Golden Spoon. It is located in Orem and we purposely took the long way as we were having a really good conversation and Roan fell asleep. We later found the Golden Spoon but it was closed (not permanently, thank goodness, only for a few days for some silly repairs on their machines. I would have died if they were closed forever as it is the greatest thing and having it here in Utah is like having a piece of Cali with me. We went there a ton when we lived there, especially when I was pregnant). We still wanted ice cream so we found a local grocery store. We had forgotten it was the late night before thanksgiving as we pulled into the local Macey's. It was soooo not busy. We messed around and got some delicious ice cream, Meadow Gold has a Snickerdoodle Limited Edition ice cream and it is DELIC!

Thursday morning I cooked most of the morning away. The cooking groove was paused when Roan, in his cupboard exploring pulled out a glass lid and sent it crashing to the ground where it shattered. He was removed from the kitchen while it was cleaned up.

We spent the main part of Thanksgiving at my brothers house in Ogden. It was the first time my entire family were together in a few years. ALL OF US. It was so nice. There was no drama, we just enjoyed each other company, watched the kids play, and ate some seriously good food. The turkey was the best ever and the peach pie...I was in heaven. If you have never had a Utah peach you have not lived. Then we went to Lars' Dad's house in Bountiful for some additional dessert and games.

The rest of the weekend was spent sleeping in, playing with Roan, visiting family here and there, cooking, eating, and a small date with Lars to Taco Time and the movies, Pitch Perfect, expect to laugh and to experience goosebumps from the good music. I love long holiday breaks. I am so grateful to be in Utah this holiday season. It feels good to be around family and to actually be apart of everything and to spend quality time with them. We will miss our regular Cali activities and friends. Around the holiday time I missed my family the most, we would skype with them and see all the festivities they were up to but it was never the same. Now we are here in the midst of it and it is fun and I am truly grateful.

I love the holidays and this was a fabooooooo way to kick off the season. I will post pics later. How was your Thanksgiving?

Thanks Funny Bone

Wishing you and your funny bone a Happy Thanksgiving

Be sure to give thanks in between all the laughter.

A Little Update on Me & Things

Just a little update on me personally...

I announced a few months ago that I had PPD and was working on getting through that. First, I want to thank you all for the love and for taking the time to personally reach out to me to check in and offer your support. It really truly means more than you will ever know. I am happy to inform you that things are much much better than they were in the beginning. I saw a counselor for a month before I moved and she helped me deal with some of the emotions and helped me learn a few things to help train my mind from playing tricks on me. What I mean is one of my biggest issues I was working through was that I would soooo over react to things before they even happened which made me super stressed, paranoid, selfish, too far stretched, and just not so fun to be around. It was super hard to overcome and even today I am by no means perfect with it but I am in a good enough position to function more properly. I was asked to consider drugs but decided against it for now. Everyone is different and I just felt that drugs would not work for me.

Honestly life has been so busy lately that I really have just been pushing forward. Then a few nights ago Lars asked me how I was doing and it really got me thinking that I am good now and am doing tons better. I am more patient Roan and tough situations. According to Lars I am not as snappy as I was. :) I haven't been as depressed, and if I do it is not to the same degree as it was. It has been weeks since I thought about hurting myself or anyone else. Most often I got down on myself when I was stressed or frustrated with something I couldn't control. The therapy helped teach me to react to both in a more healthy way and after I quit my previous job the stress lessened.  I know I am not cured but things have greatly improved. I imagine it is due to giving it time, the recent changes/progression we have made in our lives, the things I learned from therapy, and the love and support I received from all of you. I am out of the worst part of it now and feel that from here I can only move up.

I have a new job in Utah. I moved to a competitor within my industry. This company is more production specialized (high end copying and scanning in super large quantities) and their clients are more than just law firms, they include medical offices, corporations, and warehouses. I appreciate the change and am learning a lot. The best part is I am not stressed here. I don't have my own team to manage. I only visit each site and make sure the are certified to the company standards, when I am not doing that I am back filling the staff or working on projects at the main office. Honestly I could really care less about what happens at work. Most days I want to put in my 8 hours and go home to my boys. I like it here but think I am growing out of the career minded phase of my life. I want to be a stay at home Mom for a while and then see what happens. I am not as over anxious about making this move as I was. Everything in its season right. :)  I know we are progressing towards that. Lars found a good job and until he gets settled into that I will be staying put. I don't want to put a definite timeline on it, but I am confident that things will be changing for us over the next 6 months. In the mean time I am looking for work as an apartment or storage unit live on site manager. This will help me be at home yet still contributing. We are trying to save money for additional goals we have but am still hoping to cut my hours some or all together soon. If I can find an apartment manager job then this will allow me to still contribute financially yet be at home. If you know of anything available in the Salt Lake area please let me know.

So I think I am preparing to wean Roan from me. I enjoy and am thankful for being able to breastfeed for so long but I am nearing the end. He will be a year in 2 months so I will hold off until then but I have begun to get ready. He is a good eater even with his 8 teeth. Lately he has been getting relaxed with that and I think I am producing less. I love this connection it provides but I sorta want my body back. I went window shopping at Victoria Secret the other day. I really want to wear a normal comfy bra again. Once he is weaned and I have reshaped I want to go buy a Victoria Secret bra to celebrate myself.

I really want to get into better shape too. I still believe it is how you feel and not what you look like and junk. I seriously have tried to make an effort to eat less and exercise but I am starving when I do. I have only lost 10 lbs of the 50 lbs baby weight I put on. I keep hoovering over the same number no matter what I do. So I figured it will be staying until I am done breastfeeding. In an effort to get back in shape it is my goal to run a 3K or 5K by my 30th birthday in January. The only draw back to this plan is that it is super cold here. I don't want to run outside. I may adjust this goal so I am running in the spring. I got fitted for running shoes and ran with a sample pair. I liked the smooth feel they give but are they really necessary? Especially if I am running outside in the winter? Most of the running shoes have holes in them so your feet can breath but this also causes wet feet if the shoes get wet. What do you think? Either way I am going to have fun getting back in shape.

That is all for now. :) I leave you with a really cool heartwarming video from Jessie J. Be who you are folks and love it!!!

Current Shuffle

The following songs are in my daily listen to. I listen to this song to dance

this song to inspire me

this song to pump me up

What is on your current shuffle?

Manti Temple Leaves

A few pics from our recent trip to Manti