Just a forewarning that I am going to do some soap box complaining here. I don't like to complain...much, but after this week I deserve a cry and a pizza party so here ya go.
"I can't complain, but sometimes I still do." ~Joe Walsh
Every week I send a reminder email out to all my managers to collect their weekly reports, part of my fun admin duties, awesome right ;) I always include a quote in that email to be fun and spread joy. I usually try to stick with humorous or motivational quotes, but this week I went with the above quote because as far as work is concerned it has been "that" kind of week and just fit with how I am feeling.
We came back from our vacation a little less than two weeks ago. You know how that goes...you feel rested and refreshed and ready to take on the work world again. The first week was amazing, must have still been honeymooning or something. Certain peopled expressed their appreciation for me and how much they missed me, "glad to have you back" or "I am not sure how we will survive when you are gone on your maternity leave." Oh the joy and I just didn't have a worry in the world, things were good and when crappy things happened I just shrugged it off and got through it. Until about Thursday. Thursday have been the suck suckiest days of the year. Not all Thursday but on just about every Thursday of the year something happens. Whether it is sickness or the crap at work hitting the fan. When work wasn't so busy I would try to work at home these days just to breath and remain sane.
Anyway, Thursday came around and a bunch of annoying things happened and they just rubbed me the wrong way. Friday was a little better, but not much. I tried to relish in the simple things to get past it and not let any of it ruin my weekend. Monday arrived and the crap just continued to slide down hill. I will be honest. A lot of my current work grief comes from one source. A certain person who will remain nameless, we will call this person DH (you can guess what it stands for). DH could be nice, but is not. DH has a double standard and often lies or tells me one thing and another manager another thing. DH will be nice to my face and then steal credit or backbit later on. It would be simple if DH would just be honest and tell us all the same thing. But instead DH doesn't follow procedure, is never ever ever around to help when the going gets tough, and for the most part will be the death of me. Maybe its not that bad, but I don't like being played or lied to or to have to do more unnecessary work or DH's work (I don't get paid the big bucks like DH does) because DH is just....well I really don't have nice words anymore. I like people but have low to zero tolerance for people who lie to me and are just big fat DH's. I know every office has a DH, but man DH is the worst I have yet to find.
At first I thought I was just making big deals out of nothing and putting too much pressure on myself to do everything because honestly I am anxious to start my maternity leave and would love to never return. All I can do is my best and die knowing that I rocked it and have some integrity. I try to keep that in mind and have a good attitude. Don't get me wrong. I do love my job and love the career I have started, but I think I am wanting to slowly close the book on this chapter in my life and feel like I should be moving forward to a new chapter for a few years and then reconsider when and if I want to reboot my career. Is this just my womanly mother instincts talking or something that I can really make happen? Can I let go of this chapter or will I get bored? I think I would rock as a homemaker. Either way if I am ever able to no longer work then I would like to leave on good terms, which I will. But some days I think to myself, if DH is still in the picture then I will be strongly negotiating other options.
Believe me I am making the best of all this and just working through it. Like I said I don't like to complain much. I love to make the world's gosh darn best lemonade from the lemons life throws at me and I always drink that lemonade with a little gig and prance but I still think I am allowed to complain from time to time as long as I don't let it own me in the end.
There it is off my chest....Man I feel better....moving on.
Being preggo is awesome!!!!
Our vacation back home to Utah was one of the best, will post pictures and stories soon.
We finally hung up some pictures in our house. It has transformed our apartment into a lovely home. I even framed some of my art work from my High School art portfolio to hang.
This weekend I am hosting a Pie Party. I really just felt like getting festive and making pies. I am a killer pie maker and make my own crust from scratch. I am going to make like 50 pies so I invited anyone and everyone to come over and help me eat them. Lars is making his homemade root beer. You can come too if you like. You probably deserve too if you read this post from start to finish. Ha Ha!
Have a super de dooper day and if life is throwing you lemons join me in my drinking lemonade gig prance :)
Blogs are great for venting. I've had similar people like that I've worked with in the past. They are everywhere. Unfortunately.
ReplyDeleteYou will miss your work/career. I do. But even on the hard days I remind myself that the person I want my children to be with the most is me, not another person I pay to take my place during the daylight hours. I wouldn't change a thing and I have no regrets leaving my killer-awesome job. Some days, like I said, I miss it. And that's ok. Day dream a little, reminisce and then get back to making those pb&j's.
I wish I was there to hang out with you for pie time. Pies are my absolute favorite.
blogs are great for venting. I've worked with people like that in the past too. They are everywhere. Unfortunately.
ReplyDeleteYou will miss your work/career. I do. But the person I want my children to spend most of their time with is me. Not someone I pay to take my place during the daylight hours. Some days, like I said, I really miss working and feeling appreciated, empowered, valuable, smart and professional, all while on a consistent schedule. Not to mention the sweet paycheck. But at the end of the day I have no regrets leaving my killer-awesome job. You'll have those days too and that's ok. Daydream and reminisce about them and then breath a hearty sigh and get back to making those pb&j's.
I wish I could be there to hang out with you for pie time. Pies are my absolute favorite. Have fun!
I've said it once, and i'll say it again, go all Anger Management on DH's booty. Or pull an office space and just ignore Dh and play tetris on your computer. :)
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for what you've had to deal with! A funny thing about life, though: I've noticed that when it's time for one chapter to close and another to open, it can happen that certain aspects of the current chapter begin to get incredibly uncomfortable. After having this happen to me repeatedly, I started to think maybe there's a benefit, a sort of fire lit under you to help you move forward without unnecessary looking back. Take the end of pregnancy, for example. New babies are AMAZING, but they can also be AMAZINGLY hard and yet many women, by the time the baby comes are SO READY, so sick of being pregnant, so uncomfortable that they gladly make the transition from taking care of baby inside to the necessary and more rewarding but more difficult phase of taking care of baby outside. When you need to move forward, sometimes it ends up being a blessing to have a reason to not want to go back. Just a thought! :) I think you will ROCK at homemaking, too, and even more at being a mommy!
ReplyDeleteOh Stephanie, that stinks! There really are DHs at every job. As for being a stay-at-home-mom, it is a tough choice, or at least it was for me. There are some days I wish I was at work, but most days I feel grateful that I get to be the one to rear my child.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're having such a rough time with this person. I feel your pain. I have my own version of a DH in my life and it plain sucks.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could go to your Pie Extravaganza. I'm SO sorry to be missing it!
Ugh! Not fun when people are jerks. Hang in there. You can come over to my house anytime. I'll throw you a pizza party, in the which I will make you a pizza from scratch. :)
ReplyDelete