I have a love and hate relationship with my pants right now. I can't seem to find a pair that fit right. My prepreggo pants are still snug so I have some post preggo pants that I sometimes wear and they are always falling down. I feel like I look like a fool with my pants on the ground or at least always pulling them up. SO last week I bit the bullet and went out to buy pants that actually fit my "in between" body stages. I swear to you when I tried on two pairs of pants in the store they fit perfectly. It was awesome. I didn't feel like they were too tight and I didn't have to constantly pull them up.
Well do you believe that after wearing them for a week I am again pulling up my pants again. The pants fairy must have switched them out on me once I got them home. UGHHHHH I just can't win. Don't get me wrong. I hope that means I am getting myself trimmed up again, but the process is so frustrating because I want to wear clothes that are comfortable and not look like a fool. LOL Oh well. Life is hard right ;)
We had a pleasant thanksgiving weekend. The break had an awesome start. Lars and I went to dinner with the boy and then went driving around for some Golden Spoon. It is located in Orem and we purposely took the long way as we were having a really good conversation and Roan fell asleep. We later found the Golden Spoon but it was closed (not permanently, thank goodness, only for a few days for some silly repairs on their machines. I would have died if they were closed forever as it is the greatest thing and having it here in Utah is like having a piece of Cali with me. We went there a ton when we lived there, especially when I was pregnant). We still wanted ice cream so we found a local grocery store. We had forgotten it was the late night before thanksgiving as we pulled into the local Macey's. It was soooo not busy. We messed around and got some delicious ice cream, Meadow Gold has a Snickerdoodle Limited Edition ice cream and it is DELIC!
Thursday morning I cooked most of the morning away. The cooking groove was paused when Roan, in his cupboard exploring pulled out a glass lid and sent it crashing to the ground where it shattered. He was removed from the kitchen while it was cleaned up.
We spent the main part of Thanksgiving at my brothers house in Ogden. It was the first time my entire family were together in a few years. ALL OF US. It was so nice. There was no drama, we just enjoyed each other company, watched the kids play, and ate some seriously good food. The turkey was the best ever and the peach pie...I was in heaven. If you have never had a Utah peach you have not lived. Then we went to Lars' Dad's house in Bountiful for some additional dessert and games.
The rest of the weekend was spent sleeping in, playing with Roan, visiting family here and there, cooking, eating, and a small date with Lars to Taco Time and the movies, Pitch Perfect, expect to laugh and to experience goosebumps from the good music. I love long holiday breaks. I am so grateful to be in Utah this holiday season. It feels good to be around family and to actually be apart of everything and to spend quality time with them. We will miss our regular Cali activities and friends. Around the holiday time I missed my family the most, we would skype with them and see all the festivities they were up to but it was never the same. Now we are here in the midst of it and it is fun and I am truly grateful.
I love the holidays and this was a fabooooooo way to kick off the season. I will post pics later. How was your Thanksgiving?
I announced a few months ago that I had PPD and was working on getting through that. First, I want to thank you all for the love and for taking the time to personally reach out to me to check in and offer your support. It really truly means more than you will ever know. I am happy to inform you that things are much much better than they were in the beginning. I saw a counselor for a month before I moved and she helped me deal with some of the emotions and helped me learn a few things to help train my mind from playing tricks on me. What I mean is one of my biggest issues I was working through was that I would soooo over react to things before they even happened which made me super stressed, paranoid, selfish, too far stretched, and just not so fun to be around. It was super hard to overcome and even today I am by no means perfect with it but I am in a good enough position to function more properly. I was asked to consider drugs but decided against it for now. Everyone is different and I just felt that drugs would not work for me.
Honestly life has been so busy lately that I really have just been pushing forward. Then a few nights ago Lars asked me how I was doing and it really got me thinking that I am good now and am doing tons better. I am more patient Roan and tough situations. According to Lars I am not as snappy as I was. :) I haven't been as depressed, and if I do it is not to the same degree as it was. It has been weeks since I thought about hurting myself or anyone else. Most often I got down on myself when I was stressed or frustrated with something I couldn't control. The therapy helped teach me to react to both in a more healthy way and after I quit my previous job the stress lessened. I know I am not cured but things have greatly improved. I imagine it is due to giving it time, the recent changes/progression we have made in our lives, the things I learned from therapy, and the love and support I received from all of you. I am out of the worst part of it now and feel that from here I can only move up.
I have a new job in Utah. I moved to a competitor within my industry. This company is more production specialized (high end copying and scanning in super large quantities) and their clients are more than just law firms, they include medical offices, corporations, and warehouses. I appreciate the change and am learning a lot. The best part is I am not stressed here. I don't have my own team to manage. I only visit each site and make sure the are certified to the company standards, when I am not doing that I am back filling the staff or working on projects at the main office. Honestly I could really care less about what happens at work. Most days I want to put in my 8 hours and go home to my boys. I like it here but think I am growing out of the career minded phase of my life. I want to be a stay at home Mom for a while and then see what happens. I am not as over anxious about making this move as I was. Everything in its season right. :) I know we are progressing towards that. Lars found a good job and until he gets settled into that I will be staying put. I don't want to put a definite timeline on it, but I am confident that things will be changing for us over the next 6 months. In the mean time I am looking for work as an apartment or storage unit live on site manager. This will help me be at home yet still contributing. We are trying to save money for additional goals we have but am still hoping to cut my hours some or all together soon. If I can find an apartment manager job then this will allow me to still contribute financially yet be at home. If you know of anything available in the Salt Lake area please let me know.
So I think I am preparing to wean Roan from me. I enjoy and am thankful for being able to breastfeed for so long but I am nearing the end. He will be a year in 2 months so I will hold off until then but I have begun to get ready. He is a good eater even with his 8 teeth. Lately he has been getting relaxed with that and I think I am producing less. I love this connection it provides but I sorta want my body back. I went window shopping at Victoria Secret the other day. I really want to wear a normal comfy bra again. Once he is weaned and I have reshaped I want to go buy a Victoria Secret bra to celebrate myself.
I really want to get into better shape too. I still believe it is how you feel and not what you look like and junk. I seriously have tried to make an effort to eat less and exercise but I am starving when I do. I have only lost 10 lbs of the 50 lbs baby weight I put on. I keep hoovering over the same number no matter what I do. So I figured it will be staying until I am done breastfeeding. In an effort to get back in shape it is my goal to run a 3K or 5K by my 30th birthday in January. The only draw back to this plan is that it is super cold here. I don't want to run outside. I may adjust this goal so I am running in the spring. I got fitted for running shoes and ran with a sample pair. I liked the smooth feel they give but are they really necessary? Especially if I am running outside in the winter? Most of the running shoes have holes in them so your feet can breath but this also causes wet feet if the shoes get wet. What do you think? Either way I am going to have fun getting back in shape.
That is all for now. :) I leave you with a really cool heartwarming video from Jessie J. Be who you are folks and love it!!!
My brother Neils and his family came to Disneyland. They were awesome enough to invite us to their day off of Disneyland adventures. We went to Boboa Beach and it was beautiful. The sand was so shimmery and soft and the waves were amazing. We hunted for shells and just played. It was nice to see family in CA just before moving back to UT. :)
We moved....I am so glad it is over. Lars and I try to be organized and we did good to get everything packed and ready. Of course no matter how much you prepare the actual move day is stressful and emotional. Lars' Mom came out for the week so she can keep Roan occupied. She was a huge help with him and with cleaning. We did some packing before she got there but it took longer than normal. Roan was crawling and wanted to be apart of everything we were doing so we had to tag team keeping him out of things. Plus packing took a while cuz we were too busy having fun with friends before moving.
Our next door neighbors I will miss more than anything
The night before the move our ward threw us a going away party. It was so nice and fun and sad at the same time. I didn't cry alot about the move as I had a lot of packing and other things to distract me. Once that all got done I lost it and cried a lot. I cried when we left, cried when I read letters from friends, cried when we got here, and cry when I see something that reminds me of some friends. It took a week or so to start feeling normalish.
Anyway, we took two days to drive up here, we stopped in St. George overnight. The 1st half of the drive my friend Rebbecca rode up with me. It was really nice having her as she kept me talking and looked after Roan as we drove. We jammed out to some Wicked and chit chatted. We left her in St. George as she had family business to attend to. Lars' Mom rode with me the rest of the way. It was fun. We stopped and took pictures of cool stuff.
When we got in we had help from my parents ward to unload the truck. The next few days were spent unpacking and getting things situated. We also did some cruising around to see what had changed and met up with a few friends and family. (We are anxious to hang out with everyone but are taking our time with it, call me to schedule a time if we aren't getting to you fast enough). The weather was good and the leaves were gorgeous. However, within a few days we had snow and it was cold. You wouldn't know it now as the weather flipped again and it is nice and warm. We didn't have any ice scarpers so we went out and got a few. I am fully dressed in my scarf and gloves until I can acclimatize again. BTW, it is so dry does that ever get better?
We went to Manti twice to support our friend Rebbecca and her family as she had two funerals (both of her parents passed within a week of eachother, sad but a blessing). This was nice as I felt like I still had a piece of CA with me still, but sad because it only prolonged the real "See Ya CA" emotions I bottled up.
We have a routine down for Roan and that is helping. I started work and am enjoying the change of pace with a new company. I have more to learn and am excited to be busy. We are happy to be here and have already started utilizing the Grandparents for babysitting. :) We have challenges ahead of us as we adjust to our new life but we are sure this is where we need to be. We have faith that the Lord will continue to guide us we try and plan out the next year. Please keep us in your prayers during this transition.
This kid is awesome. I cannot believe how fast he keeps changing.
Weight: Close to 25 lbs
Height: Super Tall
I need to measure a for real measurement but am pretty lazy right now. I also have more pics to post but for now we will post these and I will post more down the road.
This kid is crawling and climbing everywhere!!!!! With each passing day he gets stronger and stronger and does more daring things that are making my heart jump into my throat. He can climb one step. He has gotten himself down from a couch all by himself a few times, without assistance and without falling. When I play with him on the floor he uses me as an obstacle course and climbs all over me. His fingers have found there way up my nose, in my eye, and standing over my throat.
He loves to open and close things, especially doors and drawers. Seriously he will play with a door, a book, or a box for 30 minutes straight. He is a fast little crawler and will chase after you. Sometimes he will get distracted in the chase by lights or something that springs back at him, like door stops. He has learned to bounce on his bum on command. I will try and get a recording.
He went from sleeping thru the night regularly to getting up 1-2 times at night. I didn't like it at first but I am used to it now. He has weened himself off the pacifier. He only uses it as a chew toy so at night he goes to sleep completely on his own, with some soothing cuddling to induce the sleep most of the time. He won't sleep on his back anymore. He only sleeps on his side or on his belly with his bum in the air. He also won't be swaddled anymore.
He is soooo funny. We play zombies sometimes and pretend to gnaw on each other. I think he thinks they are kisses so whenever I embrace him in a hug he chews on my face, nose, and chin for the first bit. It is cute but he has 8 teeth so sometimes it hurts. I love getting his wet opened mouth kisses.
He is really good with finger food. We are starting to give him more of that than baby food. I make baby food when I have time but haven't had much time with the move and all so he is getting the Gerber stuff. He loves the turkey/beef with veggies and/or rice. He loves to eat the little puff stars and the wagon wheels. He has choked a few times but thankfully he has amazing gag reflects and just throws up when he chokes for too long. In addition to normal food he has tried eating dirt, leaves, paper, cardboard, and a small rock. When he tries to eat such things I have to hold his mouth open to swoop it out but he has gotten good at fighting this and will hold his teeth closed. He hates having his face/hands/arms/hair (because he keeps touching his hair with food on it when eating) wiped down after a meal. He is learning how to blow his nose. It is the best, whenever I put a tissue by his nose he tries to breath fast and hard like he is trying to help. I love it.
He misses his friend Dane. Watching them together was so easy because they would play beside eachother or with eachother so easily. Now he plays by himself for a bit but then wants someone to play with him. It has been an adjustment. He loves other people and is learning the new faces around him. He has a cousin a few months apart and a couple second cousins a few weeks apart from him. We hope to have them playing with eachother more often. He loves the extra room in the basement to run around in and seems to be enjoying his new surrounding. All the ladies in our new Relief Society thought it was incredibly well behaved. He is the only kid in there so I get a little nervous when he gets loud. Not sure if the old people mind but whatever.
When it snowed we took him out to play in it but he didn't seem to care. Maybe in a few months he will as there will be mountains of snow in his way.