Saturday, September 22, 2012

We Started Out on a Journey...

Have you ever started out on a journey with a goal in mind, but then along the way you find something better than your first goal. Though your original goal is still fun and honorable you decide to forgo that goal and jump on the latter goal because it is a better fit for you. But you are still grateful to the first goal as you never would have figured out how awesome goal #2 was without having tried for goal #1. Has that ever happened to you during your own journey in life? We found what we were looking for but not in the way we thought we would.

It has happened to me and I wanted to take some time and share it with you all. When I first married Lars he loved to write and wanted to be a writer. We both knew it would be a hard life as writers don't make anything most of the time. We didn't care, and still don't, as there are finer things in life. Along the way during Lars' schooling he decided to switch to film and become a director. This became our focus. We bought a big fancy smancy camera to practice with, Lars educated himself through books and networking, we even applied to film school at NYU. We didn't get in and then I took a job with my company in downtown Salt Lake City. This later on opened up an oppourtunity to move to Southern Califnoria. We thought, awesome, movies are made in Los Angeles and this could be our big break. Let's really put forth a good few years of our lives into this so we don't ever have to wonder "what if?" So we packed up and left everything we knew, our dear family and friends, everything in Utah.

Lars took time off and concentrated on writing a script. Down the road circumstances changed and he had to find work. Still we kept trying to network and sell the script that he wrote to get our foot, arm, elbow, finger, or anything in the door of Hollywood. We got excited by a few breaks, but then like always, nothing panned out. No worries, we lived our lives here and loved living. We planted some roots, made friends, excelled in our surroundings. Though we still missed our families and all the activities they did.

Slowly over time things inside each of us changed.  An epifany occured. We just love life and no matter where we live we end up doing the same fun things, which have been spending time with family and friends and watching movies and other fun stuff. We learned a ton about ourselves while being here in California. We learned to appreciate certain things we once took for granted. Then once Roan joined our life the perspective really changed. Kids have a tendency to give you a whole new outlook on life. They remind us of things that matter most and then hopefully those things are moved to the forefront of our minds.

Finally one day we both openly admitted these feelings to one another, we were both on the same page but afraid to tell the other at first. It is time to move on from this journey and onto the next. Lars' career goal has changed a bit. Along this journey he rediscovered that his true passion is in writing and sharing his stories and he doesn't need Hollywood to share them. As for me, I just wanted to be closer to family and be a kick-A Mom. Though I will truly miss many friends here. It felt good to share these feelings out loud. We prayed about them and sought guidance from the Lord and felt good about our new decision. At first we didn't tell anyone as we didn't want to get anyones hopes up. We knew that if it was meant to be the Lord would provide away. We talked about various places to live Iowa, Missouri, Idaho, and Seattle. But Utah just seemed logical as that is where most of our family is. It was decided that after Roan is born and a few months old we would start our search in Utah and see what happens. Well then things got hurried along as Lars' employment situation changed that they closed his facility.

Little indicators here and there started popping up. All of them pointing in that direction. But it still didn't feel like it was time. Myself and some close friends of mine were dealing with some new emotional roller coasters and we are each others support. I didn't want to bail on that because I felt like they needed me, but also I needed them. As time went on those roller coasters got better and I saw the Lord's tender mercies all around. This brought so much comfort to me. It was around this time that I knew it was time to move on and that my loved ones here would be okay and taken care of and that I would be okay too. I know that no matter where we are we will always be friends and can still support each other. I get it is not the same, but with technology these days all things are possible.

I am sure by now you know where I am getting at. Our family goal is for me to become a stay at home Mom and be close to family. We want Roan to be around his cousins and grandparents and we feel we need to be around family to better support them. Lars has been looking for work in Utah but because we are out of state we feel his chances haven't been as good. I have also been looking for jobs within and outside of my company. Things came up that we considered but after prayer decided not to pursue. Then I was given a good offer on a job (more details on this later) that I feel confident in until Lars is able to find the right kind of work. Then down the road we will reach this goal and I will be at home with Roan and by then we will have more new awesome goals to reach together.

Our journey in California is ending and we will be moving mid October to Utah. I will truly miss California. We have grown so much here, have had some amazing experiences, and have made some special bonds with friends. I am scared to face driving in the winter again. :) However, I have a lot of peace with this decision and look forward to this new chapter in our lives. We will be closer to our families and old friends. We will not forget our time here and hope to vacation here often to keep in touch with our loved ones here. Please don't forget us. I will never forget you.

I remember when I was flying home from California 4 years ago after having been interviewed and offered a job to move here. My emotions were high as we started our a journey to our dreams. Little did I know how this journey would change us for the better. On that plane ride I was listening to Defy Gravity from Wicked. It was the soundtrack of my life as I felt like we were defying gravity by embarking on the unknown. Now as we begin a new journey to Utah I am still listening to Wicked (it is a good musical and just speaks to me). But this time the song is For Good. Glenda and Elphaba are singing to each other about how their paths crossing has changed them for the better. Because I knew you....I have been changed for good. Thank you. I love you :)


4 comments:

  1. You're moving in THREE WEEKS?????

    I TOTALLY get the decision and support it 100%, but I am sure going to miss you!

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  2. I love you guys! I know how hard it is to leave a place that you love and the people you care about, but I'm so darn happy you guys are going to be in Utah. Maybe I can help hook Lars up with some writing gigs?

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  3. Good luck on this new adventure. It will be nice to see you when we go to Utah.

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