The last week I have been a ball of emotions. Not bad wah wah emotions but with feelings love and gratitude mixed with some heart ache for those suffering from the events that have taken place in CT. More than I have felt in long time and it has taken me a while to really wrap my head around it. With all the events that have happened in our nation the last few days I think I am finally getting my emotions to a point where I can share them.
I love this time of year but this year just seems more special inside. Not sure if it is because Roan is with us and I am seeing things so different. I just feel so blessed. Sure we are not exactly where we want to be right now. And I cried last Sunday for an hour because I miss my group of girls from Anaheim. I feel like I am just another person in the ward we are in. Yeah I go to church to have my own relationship with God but it is nice to have the social side and to know that people care that you are there. I don't really feel that here yet and I may not until we move onto where we need to live, wherever that is and whenever we do that. I know where we live is only temporarily and we are grateful for the kindness of our family to allow us to impose on them until we figure that out. Despite all that I feel very humble and grateful for all the little things that I have.
I am grateful to be close to our families for the holiday.
I am grateful for Lars who is working so hard to reach our goals. He makes me smile and laugh and always gets me.
I am grateful for Roan. He is truly a joy and every time I think about how awesome he is I cry a little. Seeing the world thru his eyes has truly changed me for the better. Believe me I can be very selfish but becoming a parent has taught me to share everything I have and more. I am so much happier because of this and I feel like I have more than I have ever had.
I am grateful that we have sufficient for our needs. We have food, a pillow to sleep on, and clothes to wear.
We are in such good health.
My Dad and I were talking about all the material things we have compared to other countries. We really do have a lot. So much more than we need.
I read the main article in the Ensign this month by President Thomas S. Monson and he asked in it, "I wonder if we might profit by asking ourselves, What gifts would the Lord have me give to Him or to other at this precious season of the year?" He continues and suggestions obedience and other things. I want to suggest deepening our testimony by loving everyone and showing kindness to all. I mean really seeking out these opportunities and putting yourself out there.
All I want to do it give and be an instrument of the Lord in any way that I can. SO I have been praying for that and it has been happening. I am able to bear certain things more as I try to show love and patience to certain situations around me. Normally I would react different but I don't and often times I can't explain why. It may not be an awe inspiring experience all the time, but it feels good and right and I love it because at the end of the day I have everything I have because of Him. He loves us and blesses us even when we aren't looking.
There is good in the world and every time I hear or read about it I want to praise Him and cry tears of job. Let's be apart of that good today and give thanks and show our thanks along the way.