Right now I feel like this is a big deal to post this, I am really opening up to you all so bear with me. I am gonna get a little help from my friend Kelly. As you know music helps me express myself and her latest album, Stronger, just takes the words right out of my mouth.
When I went back to work I knew I was gonna have a hard time. I dealt with the baby blues and stuff right after Roan was born and going back to work was another mountain to climb. Over time I felt like I was becoming more and more of myself. I felt like I was in the clear. Well I guess not because I have another mountain to climb. I have never faced this before and really have had a hard time dealing with this out load for a lot of reasons. One of them being "Hey I am Stephanie, I am the exception to all rules" or like most other women I put super crazy high expectations on myself. I won't got into great detail (if you really want to know call me). I will say that it has been really hard at times and there have been a number of incidents or indicators that have lead me to finally openly say that I have postpartum depression. I have PPD and I am to a point where I am seeking out professional help. Hoping to do this drug free but we will see. I have a dark side and I don't like to share it to most. I am not a faker but I just don't like people to see me when I am down. I rather make people happy and stay positive. With that being said here is how I have been feeling.....
Along with that I am hopeful that I will over come...
I'm sorry Steph, thats rough. Especially because you ARE such a positive and happy person and that is a huge change in your emotions. I had it too so I will tell you that you will feel 100% like yourself eventually, it won't last forever. Just do your best and take it one day at a time. Life will get back to normal!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry you are going through this! But don't feel bad for admitting it, lots of women go through it. I had it for several months. It gets better! Maybe you will need drugs maybe you wont, but what is most important is getting you back to feeling like your old self again.
ReplyDeleteI think that really emotional people (the highs are high) tend to struggle with depression (low lows). I have been on such a roller coaster this time around.
ReplyDeleteI applaud you for sharing your feelings.
Here's hoping we both feel like ourselves sooner than later.